VT-Mustard Seed > Skits-n-Such

Dad:: Tough day at the office, kiddo?
Amanda:: Not if you don’t mind skating 20 miles with pads on, frequent elbows to the chops and 5 body checks!
Dad:: Sounds like you’re having trouble with your triple “Klutz” again.
Amanda:: Daaad! You sound like that laser-brain, Travis. It’s hockey, Dad...you know, pucks, sticks, goals and stuff. I sure am sore.
Dad:: Daddy kiss it and make it all better, Mandy?
Amanda:: Daaad! I’m not three years old any more, remember? And my name is Amanda. Besides it’s my gluteus maximus that hurts—I doubt you’d want to kiss that any time soon!
Dad:: Hmmm...Bruised bacon, eh? My daughter takes up hockey and comes home a French elitist.
Amanda:: (suspiciously) How’s that?
Dad:: Here we send you off to the “School of Hard Knocks” but you end up at the “Sore Buns” (Sorbonne). (laughing) I could have warned you that the tuition there is high...
Amanda:: Not funny, Dad! (Stands to leave, takes one painful step and stops.) Ouch! I didn’t think you used these things for anything more important than sitting until now (massages the area).
Dad:: Kind of reminds me of something I read in my devotions today...
Amanda:: This better not be another dumb pun about Isaiah’s horse, or something.
Dad:: “Whoa, Is-me!” even to consider such a thing. But now that you mention it, when I was a kid we used to get a few laughs out of how the King James says old Balaam treated his “donkey” when it tried to avoid the angel. The text says he beat it—we figured he probably limped like you afterwards. Nor could we ever decide who was talking where it say, “The dumb ‘donkey’ spoke.”
Amanda:: You’re hopeless!
Dad:: Actually what came to mind was 1 Corinthians 12.26: “If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.” Normally we don’t think too much about our “tushes” until they’re sore. Then we’re reminded, it’s part of the body, too.
Andrew:: (brightly) Hi, Mandy. Hi, Dad. What-cha doing?
Amanda:: Speaking of pains in the tush...
Dad:: Hi, Oops! We were just noticing how God has put our bodies together so that when one part hurts the rest of the body suffers, too. And when one part is honored every part celebrates.
Andrew:: I get it. Mandy usually says something like that whenever you and Mom go out to eat and leave her to baby-sit: “If I’ve got to suffer, so do you, Buster...” Then she changes the TV channel to watch what she wants, even though I got there first.
Amanda:: Taag!...I...uh...I think it’s...it’s more like the time you hit the homerun in Little League and we went to Friendly’s as a family afterward to celebrate.
Dad:: Hmmmn, sounds like the right idea, but I’m not so sure I like the applications. What St. Paul was getting at was that the church is like a body. So when Mr. Cropper fell off the ladder last summer and broke his leg, various church families took turns mowing his lawn. That’s also why the church had a special dinner to honor Shirley Ajest after she received the “Teacher of the Year Award.” Some Christians are like our eyes, others like ears, some like Shirley are brains—but we need them all.
Andrew:: I wonder what part I am?
Amanda:: Something like the ...
Dad:: (breaking in) Careful, Mandy!
Amanda:: (noticing the stuff Tag’s carrying) ... the arms. What’s that you’ve got, Tag?
Andrew:: Just some stuff Travis told me to give to you. He said he watched you girls at hockey practice today and thought you could use it. He said it’s from one “Bakery Truck” to another. What’s that mean, Mandy?
Amanda:: (limping away) It means... he’s a comedian, and I’m hauling my buns out of here! Ow!...ow!

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VT-Mustard Seed

Body Parts

by Alan R. Wolcott