VT-Mustard Seed > Skits-n-Such

Harold:: (Muttering to himself, gets up and starts bunny hopping around) Wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes! (pauses) I wonder if you hop farther by crouching down? Or just one leg at a time? (Tries a couple...)
Amanda:: (Comes hurrying in with an apron on) Oh, it’s you, Harry! I heard some heavy thumps in here and wondered what was going on. Last time I heard that kind of racket some of the grapplers were practicing moves in here...see that orange splotch? I think they said it was a “flying Granby”, but it looks like slurpy juice to me. (Harold leaps again and crashes) Hey! Watch out! What do you think you’re doing?
Harold:: (From the floor) Just doing what you said we should at the last Bible study.
Amanda:: Hunh? I told you to come to the Grille and practice trashing the place last Tuesday? (Wipes hands on apron before placing hands on hips) Were we at the same place, on the same planet?
Harold:: (Struggles to his feet) Well, I think so. Didn’t you tell Travis that the key to getting anything out of his Bible reading is to try to apply it right away? That’s what I was doing...
Amanda:: Let me guess. You just read that Joshua fought at Jericho and the walls came tumbling down?
Harold:: No.
Amanda:: Then it must have been when Paul and Silas were stuck in jail but God set them free with an earthquake. Was that it?
Harold:: Did that really happen? (Amanda nods) Wow! I bet the jail was a rocking (She nods again) I bet the jail was a rolling...(more nodding) I’d like to see that!
Amanda:: (Interrupting) Well?
Harold:: Well what? (Amanda scowls at him) Oh, yeah. I was hopping, like this (demonstrates).
Amanda:: Enough already, Harry! Why are you hopping?
Harold:: Because I read in the Bible that God makes us into rabbits when we trust in Christ. I thought that was a little funny. But if Jesus wants me to be a bunny then I figured I’d get a head start. After all, if life’s a race I don’t want to be beat by some dumb turtle...
Amanda:: Harry, just where were you reading?
Harold:: One of those funny name books; I think it’s called “Gal-a-ti-ans”. Was St. Paul some kind of a sci-fi writer? That’s a cooler name than ‘Tatooine’ or ‘Dagobah’.
Amanda:: “Gal-a-ti-ans”...”Gal-a-ti-ans”...oh, Galatians. Hmmm, I guess I never thought of it quite that way. So you were reading in Galatians and found that when we trust in Christ we become rabbits? (Harold nods) Could you show me?
Harold:: (Goes to the table, picks up the book. Scans and points) see, it’s right here. “And if ye be Christ’s then are ye Abraham’s seed, and heirs (pronounces ‘hares’) according to the promise” (3:29). I’m not sure what it means to be Abraham’s seed or a “ye” but I know about “hares”—that’s a rabbit! And every bunny I ever saw hopped, and ate carrots. So I started to practice, though I’m not much of a vegetable guy...
Amanda:: That’s debatable...(Gently takes the book from him) Mind if I take a look? (reads silently) Harold, I think the word is “heirs.” You know, someone who inherits property from someone else. St. Paul says we are “heirs according to the promise.” That means that because of Jesus we inherit the blessings of God’s kingdom. We’re not turning into rabbits! God doesn’t turn us into animals.
Harold:: That’s a relief! I was getting to be worried. Lots of this stuff seems so strange. Maybe you can answer another question I have. I tried to look up one of the verses that was suggested at the study, but I think it was a mistake. It was from Matthew where Jesus said something about taking his “yolk” upon us. There must be something about chickens or farming I don’t get.
Amanda:: “Yolk?” (laughing). The word is “yoke!” Jesus says to take his “yoke.” That means to trade your burdens, your responsibilities in for those he gives. His are much lighter.
Harold:: Oh...so what’s a “ye”.
Amanda:: “Ye” is old English for “you.” By the way, Harry, where did you get this Bible?
Harold:: It’s my grandmother’s. It’s been sitting on the shelf at home ever since I can remember. I didn’t want to go buy a new one, so I picked it up.
Amanda:: Harry, it will help you to read from a Bible with modern English in it. Get a newer one at the bookstore. You might also consider using a dictionary, but even without it, a few moments’ thought might have helped you solve the mysteries. The Bible often uses metaphors to talk about things; things like a yoke, sometimes animals. We’re called the “sheep of God’s pasture”, too, but he’s not trying to “pull the wool over our eyes”.
Travis:: (Coming up just then) That was baaad, Mandy (They laugh together).
Harold:: Hi, Travis. We’re talking about the Bible. I’ve been trying to read it but I guess I didn’t understand the metaphors or the old English. It’s confusing!
Amanda:: It reminds me of the time you asked our Sunday School teacher if Bible people are invisible.
Travis:: Hunh?
Amanda:: Don’t play dumb with me, Laser Brain! You wanted to know why you could never see “Shirley”, “Goodness”, and “Mercy” if they were supposed to “follow me all the days of my life....”
Harold:: Did anyone put out an APB? I’ll get right on it, if you want, Travis.
Travis:: Not just yet, Harry. First we need to figure out which of the Israelite tribes had the monopoly on underwear. Isaiah the prophet says their envoys went down to Egypt and “arrived in Hanes” (Is 30:4). Didn’t anyone have “Fruit of the Loom”?
Amanda:: Cute. Harry needs to hear that the way to benefit from the Bible is by reading a modern translation, looking up unfamiliar words, and taking time to figure out what the metaphors and figures of speech mean. And if something’s unclear, he should hop over and ask another Christian with a bit more experience about it. Of course, since it’s God’s book it also helps to pray and ask him to open your mind and heart to it.
Harold:: Well, I’m still a little disappointed.
Travis:: Why’s that?
Harold:: I was hoping you could show me how rabbits twitch their noses, seeing as you’ve been a “Hare” of God longer than I have.
Travis:: (Begins twitching) No problem! There’s a couple warm-up grimaces...let me show you...
Amanda:: (Leaving and calling back over her shoulder) You funny bunnies deserve each other. I’m hippity-hoppity out of here...

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VT-Mustard Seed

Hop-along, Harold

by Alan R. Wolcott