VT-Mustard Seed > Skits-n-Such > Wishing well wisdom

Wally:: (Chanting) Wishing well, O wishing well, I need a little magic. If I don’t pass the test today...ghastly thought! and tragic (“twagic”). Still it’s too nice to study now, is 50 cents enough? There’s grade (“gwade”) inflation anyhow, a “B” shouldn’t be too rough (“wuff”—and so on).
Waldo:: (Mimicking) Wishing won’t, O wishing won’t improve your scores that much. A better course and some remorse would serve you better, buddy. If grades you crave, please be brave—you really have to study!
Wally:: Who are you? And why are you eavesdropping on wishers at the Walla Walla wishing well?
Waldo:: Waldo Ware, at your service. Here from Washington. I didn’t know I was eavesdropping. This looked like a public bench, and I was, well, worn-out.
Wally:: Say, didn’t I see a picture of you somewhere, Waldo? What brings you to Walla Walla?
Waldo:: Station WWWW is about to broadcast my show.
Wally:: The Waldo Ware show on WWWW, in Walla Walla, Washington? (Waldo nods). Wicked!
Wanda:: Hi Wally. Whatcha doing, and who’s the geezer?
Wally:: He says he’s Waldo Ware, here to put his show on the air.
Wanda:: Waldo Ware, on WWWW in Walla Walla, Washington? Wicked! What are you wishing for Mr. Ware?
Waldo:: I’m not. In fact, I was just resting when Wally came up to make a wish. By the way, Wally, I was serious. If you want to get a better grade, wishing won’t do it. Work will. That’s the secret to success. Why don’t you try it?
Wally:: What? And spoil the weekend? (Suspiciously) You didn’t poison the well did you?
Waldo:: How would I do that?
Wanda & Wally:: (together) Not using quarters!
Wanda:: Someone tossed in a dime once, and ruined a winter’s worth of wishes.
Waldo:: Wow! So I suppose you’re here to make a wish, Wanda?
Wanda:: (Shyly) Yes. (Stage Whispers) I want to wish that Wally will ask me out to the Walla Walla Waltz this Wednesday.
Waldo:: (Loud enough for Wally to hear) Wouldn’t it be wiser to ask Wally if he’s planning to go to the Walla Walla Waltz this Wednesday and suggest that you’d like to go with him?
Wally:: (Taking the cue) Watcha say, Wanda? Want to go with me to the Walla Walla Waltz this Wednesday?
Wanda:: Really? Wonderful! I couldn’t have wished for more.
Voice from off stage:: Well I could! (Teen appears with dog on leash—i.e. dragging a stuffed animal).
Wally & Wanda:: Hi, Ralph! (“Walf”)
Waldo:: So what would you wish for young man?
Ralph:: It’s not for me, mister, for my pooch. And who are you?
Waldo:: The name’s Waldo Ware. (Stooping to the dog) And what’s yours?
Ralph:: “Woof.”
Waldo:: Ralph and Ruff. Well, “Woof” what does “Walf” wish for you?
Ralph:: For his fleas to flee to another fleece.
Other three:: (in unison) Nice delivery!
Waldo:: How many quarters do you think that’s going to cost?
Wally:: I got rid of a whole wart once for three quarters.
Waldo:: Hmmn. Wouldn’t it be wiser, Walf, I mean Ralph to wash Ruff in a flea bath?
Ralph:: Instead of wishing?...That might work, but it means getting “Woof” all wet and wrinkled. And I have my quarters...(shows them).
Waldo:: What’s happened to your wits in Walla Walla? Quarters and wishing and waiting won’t solve your problems.
All three:: (alarmed) Really (‘Willy”)?
Waldo:: Not at all. At least, outside Walla Walla, people are to expect great things from God and attempt great things for God. About the only magical thing in it is that he bothers to include us in his plans at all. Success depends on his blessing and our persistence. Not blind luck! It’s believing initiative and effort—faithfulness.
Wally:: Mr. Ware, do you think I could get my quarter’s back?
Waldo:: Maybe half back. I gotta make a wish—for the letter “R”.
Three:: (in unison) Wicked!

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VT-Mustard Seed

Wishing Well Wisdom

by Alan R. Wolcott